I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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