i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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