I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
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She tied me up with her honor cords...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
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On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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