Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
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she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
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I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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