It was confusing and full of hummus
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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