Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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