sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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