yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sober January is a disaster.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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