you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize