Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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