Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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