I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
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