we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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