Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize