I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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