I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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