Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize