You smell like a Billy Joel song
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize