This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
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You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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