Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i think my tv is drunk
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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