3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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