i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
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All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
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I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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