omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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