I will die if light touches me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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