There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize