Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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