this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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