i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Acid is not a monday night drug
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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