I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize