My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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