I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize