it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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