roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just google imaged poop.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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