I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
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To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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