i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
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Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
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I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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