i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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