Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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