Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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