Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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