so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
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trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
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I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
this is an emotional support booty call
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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