Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you had me at cake vodka
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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