there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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