shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize