Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
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just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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