The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
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I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
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Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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