i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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