I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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