Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
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I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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