break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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