Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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